zumba

this was my first time ever working out to Zumba. I am still unsure of my thoughts. I am not coordinated and that surely showed. I do however, like that it burned almost 600 calories for 1 hour. That was without me doing all the moves because I would get so lost. I will try it again though. Today was my weigh in day and I am down a total of 14 pounds for the month! WHOOP~ Come on February... I am going to kick your ASS~ BRING IT!~

Rough

that is what it was for me to go to my nephews birthday party today. My mom made adorable cupcakes and I wanted one so bad, but I DID NOT CAVE. Afterwards, we went to McDonalds and I did not order anything from there. I went to Bilo for my dinner. Though it was frozen, it was 400 calories! It is the end of the day and I am still way under my calories. Tomorrow is my weekly weigh in. I hope the scale is as nice tomorrow as it was today. Keeping my fingers crossed!~

I am feeling

AWESOME! Like I actually have this shit in the fucking bag. I will be thin again. I have so much support. It is crazy just how a few words of encouragement from facebook friends can hype me up! I got my heart rate monitor watch today and its so cool! It feels great to know that when it says I burn 300 calories that it is more likely I did rather then the guessing of an ipod or a treadmill would say. I love that at the end of the day when I finish logging my calories that I am at my calorie allowance and not over. SO ACCOMPLISHED!

My picture for the day is of Mya and Laken playing school with their babies. It was such a cute moment and though this shot is very snap shotty..I LOVE IT~

gaining guilt

Today I had planned out what I was going to eat when I went to my Mom's. I decided I would have 2 pieces of pizza, but my husband and Mom had some of my favorite Chinese food. I was doing well...until I walked by an egg roll. I just could not turn it away. I tried, but I caved. Then I felt so guilty that I came home and ran 2 miles in my house. I burned 200 calories and I am hoping that egg roll wasn't anymore calories then that. I don't know if there has ever been a time in my life where I would have cared so much that I cheated, that I would need to come home and try to work that off. I hope this is finally my time that I am serious enough about this weight loss thing. Time will tell, but someone told me that it takes 28 days to make something a habit and I am on day 25 of this. 3 more days!!!
I ordered a heart rate monitor watch. I hope it is a good one.
It's ugly, but I won't care as long as it helps me track my calories.

I think it is pretty amazing

how after dieting for almost a month, how much my tastes have changed. I am not saying that I do not crave a whole cheesecake, or a whole thing of cornbread...because at at anytime I would eat them. Today, I find myself really looking at recipes that I never in a million years would have thought I would make or eat. Baked sweet potato fries,baked bananas,broccoli and cheese stuffed chicken! REALLY? Who is this girl? The thing that makes me making these meals hard, is that there is no way in a million years my family would eat them. So when I make something like this, it will be my meal for a week. I am still sucking at the workout thing though. It will come to me...Just going to take some time!~

Here is a picture I took of Laken today to remind me that even though I hate Kool-aid stain mustaches, that some day when my kids are all grown...I am going to miss them.

holy shit balls!

this will be a super quick post because I was in bed and then realized...I did not do my blog. So

Laken was bored today and made herself a homemade case out of an empty toilet paper roll. My girly is creative I tell ya!

Then today we got hit hard with a ton of snow. When it decided it was going to start coming down, it was falling fast. Mya's bus was 30 minutes late and I heard a lot of Sirens. I was so ready to cry. There I was no cell phone and totally feeling hopeless and scared. I figured she was late do to the roads being a mess, but as a Mom, I couldn't stop my mind from wondering. Here is the shitty roads while I waited.
I am hoping for no school tomorrow, but the snow has stopped.

this will be short and sweet

It is TUESDAY and I have still stuck to my diet this week! 1200 calories a day and just a little bit of exercise. My birthday is on the 14th and my goal is to be 149. It may or may not happen, but that is what I am going with for now. Wish me luck!

how is this possible?

today when I weighed myself I was 157 and after posting my numbers this is what myfitnesspal calculated as my weight loss. LMAO!~ I think something is wrong. the real numbers are that I have actually lost 10.8 pounds in the last 21 days. Average of 3.6 pounds a week. I have 27.2 pounds to go until my first goal! I have 97 days to get to my first goal. I am still struggling with the working out, but as long as I am watching what I am eating...I think I will be ok.

today was so nice

because I did something that I rarely get to do these days...Spend a few hours with my awesome MOM! We went to the mall and walked around. It was so nice just to have some mom and daughter time because that is something that I do not get to do very often and no matter how old you are...your never to old to have time alone with your mom. One of the first things she wanted to do was to get something to eat. I was strong and just got a water. It was tough, but I did it. That made me proud :)

officially

in need of a welder. I didn't want to walk in the house today so I thought I would carefully walk on the broken treadmill. I was about 3 minutes into my walk when I felt a weird bouncing feeling. DAMN! this is what I felt

Good thing I didn't keep going. Who knows what might have happened. So I guess its back to walking in the house on cold days and walking out side when it gets warmer. I cannot wait to get my taxes back so that I can get Mya me the Wii. I think I may try out that new Zumba game. I just hope I keep motivated and not give up. I tried on a pair of pants today that I wore in September (just 4 short months ago) and I couldn't even get them over my ass. That is simply sad. So I MUST STAY MOTIVATED.

I just love

this picture I snapped of Laken today. I don't really ever say I LOVE MY PICTURES, but I do say that with this one.

steps

Today I walked up and down my steps 33 times. That took me a total of 10 minutes. I originally planned on doing that for 30 minutes, but that idea quickly went right out the window. I then walked around my living room and kitchen for a total of 3 miles. I am trying to stay dedicated. Then my family had Long John Silvers for dinner. They have a lower calorie option and so I opted for the grilled tilapia and vegetables and rice. Also you get a really good thing of bread. It was good, but I was still wishing that I was eating what my family was eating. Then they wanted to eat something sweet. As hard as it was for me, I made them no bakes and I didn't even taste them. I feel shaky because I want to eat them, but I WILL NOT! I have enough calories left in my day, that I could probably have one, but I know that when I cheat, it is all over :( So I am going to keep a clear picture in my head of how flabby my ass is and if I cheat it will never be a pretty little ass again.

I took the walk

outside today. It was freezing cold and by the time I was getting close to being done, it started to rain. The ground was such a sloppy mess and in spots very slippy! I thought I was going to be able to go down this one road we have around here and it would be 3 miles the whole way down and back, but I was way off! It was only about 2 miles down and back. I ended up doing a total of 3 miles today though. Funny how different 3 miles feels outside compared to a treadmill. The almighty Ipod came in handy for sure today. Then my friend Jodi has been begging me to go check out Zumba. She does it and loves it, but I am always to shy to go to these kinds of things. I also was afraid I wouldn't be coordinated enough. After giving it some thought, I decided to go watch a class. I could not believe how much fun it looked and how welcoming the people were. I think I just may go to a class every now and then. It will be hard for me to do it a lot. Being a stay at home mom, I won't get much of a chance to go or have money to do it all the time. I do want to go and try it sometime. I will be proud of myself when I do go because I have a hard time with self esteem and always worry about what others will think of me. Oh and I was under my calorie goal again today. When I logged my calories it said if I ate every day the way I did today in 5 weeks I will be 147 I think. I hope that is an accurate number :)

there are no excuses

Yesterday I was ready to give up on the idea of losing weight. I couldn't think how I wanted to exercise being that my treadmill broke! Bff Said there are no excuses and if I am going to make excuses then I am going to be fat. I gave it a lot of thought and she is right! So today I ran 3 miles in my livingroom just by going back and forth. Yes it may sound funny, but I was very sweaty when I was done so I think it did something!~ This again is where Ipods are wonderful. I used my handy dandy cool new app. that I bought a week or 2 ago and I feel that it is pretty accurate. So I guess until we get the wii in this house I will be wearing out my floors. Thanks again BFF for pushing me.
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here are my 2 pictures today that I took and like

Click on the image for better quality :)

Broken

My treadmill has a brace that is breaking on it. I am so sad. I can't use it and it is to cold to workout outside. I am making excuses! This is the reason I stay fat~ Mya is getting a Wii for her birthday so hopefully once we get that, I will be back to doing some kind of workout. I am still trying to watch my calorie intake. Though I gained 4 pounds on the weekend having my Mommies night out. I swore I wouldn't eat or drink, but...I caved.

Mommies Night Out

I was invited for a Mommies night out. I really didn't think I wanted to go. After all, this would only be the 2nd time is 6 years that I left my husband and kids to go out and have me time. I am so glad I did it though. We had so much fun and laughed so hard. I was loud and maybe obnoxious, but I had fun dammit! I broke the rules of my diet and drank a shit ton of alcohol and I ate...LOTS!~

today

was finally warm enough for the kids to go out and play in the snow for a short bit. They made snowmen, snowAngels and snowballs! Then came into the house and Daddy made them a cup of hot chocolate and I heated them both a blanket in the dryer.

you can see in the pictures that they clearly were having a great time! How can you love so much snow when your little and HATE it when your grown? I wouldn't mind if I never seen the white crap again! The only thing I love about snow is that my kids sometimes get to stay home from school! Call me strange, but I LOVE when Mya gets to stay home.

OH and by the way today is also an extreme hunger day for me.

treadmill

I did the treadmill not once, but twice~ I burned 300 calories and then I didn't do any shoveling so 300 calories is what it was. The Bff said,"that's it?" So after I got off the phone with her, I got back on and did another 157! I would have done one more mile after dinner, but I was afraid I would over do it and not want to work out tomorrow. I really wanted to say "FUCK YOU BFF!", but I took that as a good thing and filtered my mouth. If it is one thing BFF has taught me, it is that sometimes I need to FILTER(watch what I say and when)! I know she didn't mean it badly because I know how to take her! I am glad she is the way that she is because she makes me driven! Now when I am under 160, I can thank her for making me want to do that extra mile! Thanks BFF. I LOVE YOU!

much better of a day

today then yesterday! I got a new app for my ipod and I think it motivated me a lot. IPODS are the best invention ever! I love that there is so much that it can do to occupy me while I am on the treadmill! I can watch movies, listen to music, play scrabble, text or just use an app! 4 more days until I weigh in and I am almost under 160 pounds. YAY~

Another snow day today, so my picture of the day was of my girlies

the last 2 days

I have stuck to my calorie allowance, but I have had one hell of a time working out. Yesterday, I took the day off and today I forced myself to do it! I wanted to quit the entire time, so I texted my bff and she helped me through the horrible time I was having!
Here is the conversation just to show how much of a complainer I am

Me:I'm on the stupid thing
bff:then she said something she may not want reapeated
me:lol
bff: :)
me: this is Stupid
bff: :(
me:I hate it
bff:but the results wont be :)
me: I hope
Hate it
bff: Don't hate it. Hate the food you put in your mouth. It's the foods fault we are fat.
Me:it's my mouth fault. Stupid fucking thing
bff:Mine too
me:.25 miles
Bff:GO GO GO
me: 36 more minutes
waits a while
Bff: How are ya?
Me: effin stupid
bff:I know your stupid
me:I'm having a hard time
bff: with what?
Me:doing it
my calves are hurting bad
1 mile
bff:You can do it!!!!
me:I am! It might take me longer today
127 calories
bff: U r doing it!!!
me:thanks to u
bff:want me to call?
or face chat?
me:oh I cat talk
not sure if I could hear on face chat
Bff: Mmmmmm I like cats
me:lol, this is helping me lots
me: I swear I smell food cooking
bff:did you fart?
thats the food you smell
me:bwahahaha, thats effin funny
this is just a piece of my whiny ass! I sure hope I get more into this by the end of the week.


picture of the day: ITS BLOODY COLD

1st math test

Mya had her very first math test and scored a perfect. I am so proud of her. The teacher sent home a website that the kids can practice their math skills with. I think I really like it. The goal is to get the kids to answer the questions within 3 seconds of being asked. I think it really has helped that we practice on in every day.
For my picture of the day, I snapped a shot of her practicing on the site. Even though its a simple picture, I LOVE IT!

very excited to say

That it has been six days since I began the dieting and exercise and I am down 6 pounds and some ounces.!!!! The exercising has been the hardest for me to stick to. I have such a hard time staying motivated, but I have pushed myself so hard. I really, really hope that next week I am back into the 150's. After all, that is only 2 pounds away. I think it is possible. I do have to admit that today as I made my coffee with the carefully measured out creamer of 2 tablespoons; that I licked that spoon clean of all creamer stuck to it. Sadly if there was a fly on the wall watching, it probably looked as though I was performing a sex act of sorts. It almost was as satisfying as sex to~ oh...and on another note...I think this is my 19th post. Might actually just be a record! Maybe this will be MY year!

exhausted

is how I feel today. Managed to get my 300 calories burned on the treadmill though and tomorrow is weigh day. I just have to remember that a loss is a loss. That way I can try to not get disappointed even if it is only a pound.

Sticking to it

the diet that is. I've almost made it a week now. I think I am doing very well except that I just made the really huge mistake of stepping on the scale at 8 o'clock at night. When I checked my weight this morning I was down 5 pounds, just now I was down 1. I know I shouldn't go by that, but now I am nervous. Nervous...Not discouraged! As long as I stick to watching my calories and exercise the scale should never not be friends with me again. I did make another good dinner today. Even the kids liked it. In my book, that is a keeper.

http://www.pauladeen.com/recipes/recipe_view/walk_away_baked_barbequed_spaghetti/


Ingredients
1 lb browned and seasoned ground Beef (Italian sausage can be substituted)
3/4 lb.spaghetti, cooked
1 jar (approx 15 oz) of your favorite pasta sauce
2 cups Mozzarella Cheese, grated
Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

In a large sauce pan, simmer meat and tomato sauce together. Toss the cooked noodles in the sauce.

To Assemble: Spray a casserole dish with non stick cooking spray. Spoon half of the noodle mixture into the dish. Pack it down lightly and sprinkle on half of the cheese. Add the other half of the spaghetti, pack down lightly and top with the rest of the cheese. Bake for approximately 15-20 minutes or until the cheese is bubbly. Serve with a green salad and crusty garlic bread.

I didn't have the garlic bread, but it is still fantastic!

HOLY SHIT

That was one good fucking meal! I'm pretty sure it was that good and not just because I am on a diet. I did go a little overboard with the eating, but I think I am still within my calorie allowance! Just because I thought it tasted so damn good, I am going to post the recipe so YA'LL can try it. HA HA~ I'm not really southern, but I think I was suppose to be born as such. I say Ya'll cause the recipe is from PAULA DEENS site. ITS FUCKINGDELISH~



http://www.pauladeen.com/recipes/recipe_view/hobo_hamburgers

Hobo Hamburgers

Hobo Hamburgers Recipe Courtesy of Paula Deen


Servings: 4 patties, approximately 6 ounces each
Prep Time: 15 min
Cook Time: 45 min
Difficulty: Easy

1 1/2 lb ground beef
1 cup cracker crumbs
1 egg, beaten
1/4 cup lemon juice
1 cup grated cheese
1/2 cup chopped green pepper
2 teaspoon Paula Deen’s House Seasoning
4 medium red potatoes, sliced thin
1 large onion, sliced thin
4 carrots, peeled and cut into strips
4 slices bacon \
Direction

In a large bowl combine ground beef, cracker crumbs, egg, lemon juice, cheese, green pepper and House Seasoning. Mix well. Shape into 4 patties.

Place each patty onto 2 layers of heavy-duty aluminum foil (enough to cover and close). On each patty, place potato slices, onion slice, and carrots. Slice bacon in half and place both slices on top. Seal aluminum foil tightly and cook on campfire or in a 350 degree oven for approximately 45 minutes.

Recipe courtesy Paula Deen
Show: Paula's Home Cooking

whopper and cheesecake

that is my daily craving. Craving it, but not going for the craving. I am still doing well on my diet and exercise. 4 more days until the first weigh in. I think as long as I continue this path...I will have a good result.


Today I was on the phone with my bff. I told her it was snowing outside. That is when Laken (4) decided to pop into the conversation
Me to bff:It is snowing outside
Laken:No it's not
I open the blind and say
me:Then what is that out there?
Laken:fuzzies

such crazy and funny girls I have.
Im sure it isn't as amusing here as it was in person. I know it must be one of those had to be there to really "get" the humor in it type of things. That's ok though. Just wanted to document a moment that I enjoyed!

DAY 3 OF THE DIET

Today has been kind of rough. I am really a crank ass today. I am not hungry, but I want food BAD!~ I feel like a drug addict! Not that I really know what a drug addict feels like, but I would assume it to be almost the same as this. OK, I am actually thinking that would be worse, but this is bad! As hard as it was for me to do the treadmill today, I did. I wanted to stop when I was below 100 calories burned, but I kept thinking of the super hot ass I want to have and it made me push myself harder. So I walked for 48 minutes and burned over 300 calories. I was pretty happy with that. Now I just need to work on getting those 300 calories burned faster then I did. I sure hope the scale is nice to me on Monday. I actually can't stay off the scale and have weighed myself every day so far. At this point I have lost 2 pounds. I think I am off to a good start.

Day 2

of the diet. I am doing ok so far. I'm not really starving, but I really miss food! on a good note, I did burn 122 calories more today then yesterday on a bad note I am still a bitch. THIS WILL BE WORTH IT! RIGHT? yes it will. I need this to not only feel better about myself, but to also stay healthy to raise my girls for a long time. I NEED to do this. I am heading straight for heart problems (which I already have) and diabetes. I need to do this.....







a fellow photographer shared a cool technique today and I gave it a shot. Mine isn't as pretty, but pretty enough.

Thanks for the lesson girls~ you rock!

Cranky McCrankerson

what is that disgustingly high ass number you ask? Well sadly, it is my current weight. How in the world did I let myself become this size? I am considered obese! Today I am beginning to work on that though. I did the treadmill and burned off 179 calories, which is way lower of a number then I should have done, but I am working slowly. Eventually I will be burning at least 300 calories a day. Oh and I am watching my calorie intake which I am sure is about 2,349,903,453,464,546 X's less then what I have been eating. So this girl is a CRAB today. I did take some before pictures so that at some point I can see my progress, but at this point there is no way in HELL I will show them to anyone. Many props to the contestants on THE BIGGEST LOSER who do not get the choice of not showing their bodies at first. I am not sure I could be as brave or even emotionally handle all the hard work they are forced into. Even though they have fantastic results. I am so excited to see the start of a new season tomorrow. Maybe it will help to motivate me.

picture of the day

took down the tree

today and it is amazing how good that felt. Though it was a lot of work, my house just seems so bare and that to me makes it feel clean. I did do a lot of cleaning today as well. Bill took the girls to my sister's house during the Steeler's game and I took advantage of getting my house into some kind of order. Tomorrow is the big day. School begins again which really makes my heart ache. It is so hard for me to get back in the swing of things and I am going to miss Mya so very much! At least it is a short week and she wont have to go on Friday. Tomorrow is also the day that I begin the new me. Goodbye fat hello MILF~ that is what I am talking about. Treadmill and slim fast. I am going to warn you all now, that I will be a bigger bitch dieting then I am when I am on my period. Just putting that out there. It is your choice if you care to be around me during this difficult time!

Happy 1-1-11

Went to my neighbors last night. It was a fun time. I had 2 beers and about 10 Jello shots and way more taco dip then one person should ever have by themselves. Most of all there was lots of laughter. Today, my mom went way out of her way and made her traditional New Years food.
She always makes Pork, sauerkraut, hot dogs, and Kielbasa, but this year we also had turkey and stuffing and mashed potatoes. Then she painted the girls nails and put makeup on them like they were big girls about to go out for the night. I was fortunate in that my mom gave me awesome fuzzy soft socks. Thanks mom for all you and Dad do. Your much appreciated and very loved.