I am feeling

AWESOME! Like I actually have this shit in the fucking bag. I will be thin again. I have so much support. It is crazy just how a few words of encouragement from facebook friends can hype me up! I got my heart rate monitor watch today and its so cool! It feels great to know that when it says I burn 300 calories that it is more likely I did rather then the guessing of an ipod or a treadmill would say. I love that at the end of the day when I finish logging my calories that I am at my calorie allowance and not over. SO ACCOMPLISHED!

My picture for the day is of Mya and Laken playing school with their babies. It was such a cute moment and though this shot is very snap shotty..I LOVE IT~

gaining guilt

Today I had planned out what I was going to eat when I went to my Mom's. I decided I would have 2 pieces of pizza, but my husband and Mom had some of my favorite Chinese food. I was doing well...until I walked by an egg roll. I just could not turn it away. I tried, but I caved. Then I felt so guilty that I came home and ran 2 miles in my house. I burned 200 calories and I am hoping that egg roll wasn't anymore calories then that. I don't know if there has ever been a time in my life where I would have cared so much that I cheated, that I would need to come home and try to work that off. I hope this is finally my time that I am serious enough about this weight loss thing. Time will tell, but someone told me that it takes 28 days to make something a habit and I am on day 25 of this. 3 more days!!!
I ordered a heart rate monitor watch. I hope it is a good one.
It's ugly, but I won't care as long as it helps me track my calories.

I think it is pretty amazing

how after dieting for almost a month, how much my tastes have changed. I am not saying that I do not crave a whole cheesecake, or a whole thing of cornbread...because at at anytime I would eat them. Today, I find myself really looking at recipes that I never in a million years would have thought I would make or eat. Baked sweet potato fries,baked bananas,broccoli and cheese stuffed chicken! REALLY? Who is this girl? The thing that makes me making these meals hard, is that there is no way in a million years my family would eat them. So when I make something like this, it will be my meal for a week. I am still sucking at the workout thing though. It will come to me...Just going to take some time!~

Here is a picture I took of Laken today to remind me that even though I hate Kool-aid stain mustaches, that some day when my kids are all grown...I am going to miss them.

holy shit balls!

this will be a super quick post because I was in bed and then realized...I did not do my blog. So

Laken was bored today and made herself a homemade case out of an empty toilet paper roll. My girly is creative I tell ya!

Then today we got hit hard with a ton of snow. When it decided it was going to start coming down, it was falling fast. Mya's bus was 30 minutes late and I heard a lot of Sirens. I was so ready to cry. There I was no cell phone and totally feeling hopeless and scared. I figured she was late do to the roads being a mess, but as a Mom, I couldn't stop my mind from wondering. Here is the shitty roads while I waited.
I am hoping for no school tomorrow, but the snow has stopped.

this will be short and sweet

It is TUESDAY and I have still stuck to my diet this week! 1200 calories a day and just a little bit of exercise. My birthday is on the 14th and my goal is to be 149. It may or may not happen, but that is what I am going with for now. Wish me luck!

how is this possible?

today when I weighed myself I was 157 and after posting my numbers this is what myfitnesspal calculated as my weight loss. LMAO!~ I think something is wrong. the real numbers are that I have actually lost 10.8 pounds in the last 21 days. Average of 3.6 pounds a week. I have 27.2 pounds to go until my first goal! I have 97 days to get to my first goal. I am still struggling with the working out, but as long as I am watching what I am eating...I think I will be ok.

today was so nice

because I did something that I rarely get to do these days...Spend a few hours with my awesome MOM! We went to the mall and walked around. It was so nice just to have some mom and daughter time because that is something that I do not get to do very often and no matter how old you are...your never to old to have time alone with your mom. One of the first things she wanted to do was to get something to eat. I was strong and just got a water. It was tough, but I did it. That made me proud :)