grrr

I got my period. It was late. I gained a pound! I am PISSED off! I feel Fat~ GO THE FUCK AWAY

trying

to stay positive, but my scale was up a pound today. It must be water weight or something because I have not cheated at all. This is going to be a short post. It is super windy out and I am going to bed. Hoping for a better day tomorrow. PEACE

Ice

has been falling off and on since yesterday and is to continue until mid day tomorrow. I think the kids will not have school and that is fine by me. The first time I went out to shovel today I forgot to wear my heart rate monitor and that really sucks. I always wondered how many calories you really burn cleaning up snow and ice. The 2nd time I went out, I did wear it and I burned 156 calories in 24 minutes. Every time I would log my exercise on myfitness pal, I had a hard time believing that I actually burned that many calories shoveling. I don't know how I never knew of these HRM watches, but as long as I am working out, I WILL HAVE ONE! I think it is a must when your a calorie tracker like myself. Also since having my watch I realize that my high heart rate that I used to have...is still high. That is concerning me enough to know that I HAVE TO KEEP losing this weight. I cannot make excuse I am far to young to be having a heart attack or stroke. I need to get healthy so that I am here for my girls. I also have managed to not step on my scale at night for the last 2 nights. It's been hard, but it just doesn't make sense to step on a scale at the very end of a day. After eating and drinking. Why would I weigh less at night? Sometimes I am just a DORK!

zumba

this was my first time ever working out to Zumba. I am still unsure of my thoughts. I am not coordinated and that surely showed. I do however, like that it burned almost 600 calories for 1 hour. That was without me doing all the moves because I would get so lost. I will try it again though. Today was my weigh in day and I am down a total of 14 pounds for the month! WHOOP~ Come on February... I am going to kick your ASS~ BRING IT!~

Rough

that is what it was for me to go to my nephews birthday party today. My mom made adorable cupcakes and I wanted one so bad, but I DID NOT CAVE. Afterwards, we went to McDonalds and I did not order anything from there. I went to Bilo for my dinner. Though it was frozen, it was 400 calories! It is the end of the day and I am still way under my calories. Tomorrow is my weekly weigh in. I hope the scale is as nice tomorrow as it was today. Keeping my fingers crossed!~

I am feeling

AWESOME! Like I actually have this shit in the fucking bag. I will be thin again. I have so much support. It is crazy just how a few words of encouragement from facebook friends can hype me up! I got my heart rate monitor watch today and its so cool! It feels great to know that when it says I burn 300 calories that it is more likely I did rather then the guessing of an ipod or a treadmill would say. I love that at the end of the day when I finish logging my calories that I am at my calorie allowance and not over. SO ACCOMPLISHED!

My picture for the day is of Mya and Laken playing school with their babies. It was such a cute moment and though this shot is very snap shotty..I LOVE IT~

gaining guilt

Today I had planned out what I was going to eat when I went to my Mom's. I decided I would have 2 pieces of pizza, but my husband and Mom had some of my favorite Chinese food. I was doing well...until I walked by an egg roll. I just could not turn it away. I tried, but I caved. Then I felt so guilty that I came home and ran 2 miles in my house. I burned 200 calories and I am hoping that egg roll wasn't anymore calories then that. I don't know if there has ever been a time in my life where I would have cared so much that I cheated, that I would need to come home and try to work that off. I hope this is finally my time that I am serious enough about this weight loss thing. Time will tell, but someone told me that it takes 28 days to make something a habit and I am on day 25 of this. 3 more days!!!
I ordered a heart rate monitor watch. I hope it is a good one.
It's ugly, but I won't care as long as it helps me track my calories.